Monday, April 27, 2020

GRIEF



Robin sent me a great article from the Harvard Business Review by Scott Berinato on the anxiety/fear we’re all feeling today about Covid-19.

And he labelled it GRIEF.

A key concept in Lovemarks is that revolution starts with language – and naming what we are all feeling as Grief will revolutionise the way we deal with it.

Mr Berinato turned to David Kessler – the world’s top Grief expert – and leading author on the topic to get his thoughts.

The full article is uplifting and insightful and worth checking out ( https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief ).

Mr Kessler points out:
·       Going to the airport is forever different from what it was before 9/11.
·       Things will be different when we find a vaccine – but how?
·       The loss of normalcy, isolation, job insecurity, economic Armageddon – we are grieving – Collectively.
·       Uncertainty, fear, the unknown, death – anticipatory grief, something bad is attacking us but we can’t see it.  All we can do is anticipate it / worry about it / fear it.  We don’t feel safe.

And we’ve been going through five stages:
1)   Denial – it’s just a ‘flu.
2)   Bargaining – OK, I’ll wash my hands and stay home.
3)   Anger – I’m fed up with staying home.
4)   Sadness – Oh hell, people are really dying.  When will it end?
5)   Acceptance – OK, how do we get through this and reboot?

Mr Kessler lays out four things to do that will help us move into the Acceptance mode and give us back power and control.
·       Find balance in the fear.  When you feel the worst, make yourself visualize the best image instead.  We all get a little sick, we recover and we beat it and carry on.
·       Come back into the present.  A mindfulness approach.  Calm yourself by focusing on the now.  Simple stuff, but not easy stuff.  Name five things in your room, breathe, realise that in the present nothing bad is happening.  You’re OK.  Use all five of your senses.  Listen.  Smell.  Touch.  Look.  Taste something.  Relax.  Smile.
·       Control the controllables and let go of the rest.  You can’t control government policy, your neighbours – just stay six feet away from them and wash your hands!
·       Stock up on Compassion.  Be kind.  Be generous.  Pack up your judgemental gene and put it into storage.  Be patient, optimistic and believe in the best.

And finally, it’s OK to feel sad, to feel worried, to feel scared.  Feel your sadness, accept it, talk about it – let the feeling out, let it happen – then get back up, follow the four suggestions and Keep on Keeping On!

KR