Thursday, December 19, 2013

To Improve Mental Strength, Here’s What Not To Do

Being a leader, or even just a do-er, requires stamina and mental strength; the ability to blow-off the personal element of criticism while applying it into your work constructively, ignoring the noise, and identifying your weaknesses so you can become stronger is all part of it.

Ann Morin, a psychotherapist and college psychology instructor, provided LifeHack.org with 13 attributes deficient in the mentally strong. It’s a great list for reflecting on our own mental limitations and finding areas where we can develop. While you can read the full list here, here are some of my thoughts on a couple of her points.

The mentally strong…
  • Don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Fail fast, fix fast, learn fast.

  • Don’t give away their power. This isn’t about relinquishing responsibilities, but about not letting someone or something disempower you mentally. If someone gives you some criticism, learn, fix, don’t sulk.

  • Don’t shy away from change. Change will happen whether you like it or not, so relish it, welcome it, be a vanguard or laggard.

  • Don’t waste time on things they can’t control. You’ll waste more time getting over someone stealing your park than you will finding a new one. D.H. Lawrence said, " If you can change it, change it. If you can’t, don’t worry about it.” Shit happens. The world is chaotic and random. Luck, bad or good, is a real deal.

  • Don’t worry about pleasing others. Don’t go out of your way to hurt someone’s feelings, but don’t shy away from giving constructive criticism either. Respect them, and don’t make it personal. Focus on the issue… play the ball not the man.

  • Don’t fear taking calculated risks. Embrace failure. Learn from it and Pin it. Experience of failure will only make for a stronger success.

  • Don’t fear alone time. Grasmere is one of my favorite places. It’s quiet and unassuming I retreat there whenever I’m feeling under pressure. Alone time is great for calming yourself, resetting your energies, and figuring out the next challenge.

  • Don’t resent the success of others. Be happy for them. The world is big enough for lots of winners. Celebrate with them. You’ll be happier.

  • Don’t think the world owes you anything. Because it doesn’t. We owe the world and the communities we live in. Grow through your own merits and help others along the way. It’s a wonderful world.

  • Don’t expect immediate results. The mentally strong don’t expect things to happen as fast as it does in their mind. The reward is often the journey.

2 comments:

Yohan said...

Hello, Kevin

It's been a pleasure a for me to read me this article and use it for the betterment of my desired goals in my life. Well in my point of view for the mentioned idea by you. 'Alone time is great for calming yourself, resetting your energies, and figuring out the next challenge'. I feel it will be more energetic if we have a true best friend/ friends whom we can share, calm our selves when we are more stressed out, specially when working in an organization. If God can affirmed our worries into happiness it's a pleasure of exchanging my worries with him. Please comment me on your idea regarding this

Yohan said...

Hi Kevin,

mentioned ideas of yours on this posts are very true, I agree with it

Don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
Don’t give away their power
Don’t shy away from change.
Don’t waste time on things they can’t control.
Don’t worry about pleasing others
Don’t fear taking calculated risks
Don’t expect immediate results
Don’t resent the success of others

above mentioned ideas of yours assisted me to be a more energetic and a talented leader

Thank you